"Oh Brother!"

My visits with my brother have been sporadic for the past few years. They usually occur when I go with my wife to visit my in-laws in St Petersburg, Florida. I will squeeze in an hour or so of time to drop by my brother's house for a visit. 

For a period of years different issues kept us at odds and we visited only by phone. Now we have gotten friendlier and like to see each other face to face. It has also gotten more poignant and important for us to meet since our father died. It suddenly dawned on me that my brother is the only member of my original family still standing beside me. My mother, father and all aunts and uncles are now deceased. Brrr. That kind of information will give you pause.

Anyway that makes him the unofficial keeper of my memories. He and he alone knows what it was like growing up in that house on Holland Street in Clinton, South Carolina. He and he alone remembers our pet cocker spaniels, Mademoiselle and Lady. He and he alone remembers our first car, our first TV set, and the first death in the family. 

Strangely we have different recollections of most of these events. He remembers things one way and I remember them another. But the basic facts are there; it is only in the coloration that we differ. I don't think we were particularly close as brothers. We didn't fight a lot but we didn't hang out a lot either. He was three years older and always, always more serious than I was. I existed in a dream world while he was much more grounded in reality.

Anyway a few days ago he came to my house in Perry, Georgia. He was on his way to visit friends in Greenville, South Carolina and stopped by to spend the night with us and break the trip. He got to the house on Thursday afternoon and left the next morning. Since spaghetti is one of his favorite foods, I asked my wife if we could have that for supper. And we did. Complete with a great salad that I made.

When we were growing up my family had spaghetti every Saturday for lunch (lunch was our big meal). My brother would always state that the spaghetti we were having that day was "the best we have ever had." I thought he might say that on Thursday at our house, but he didn't. I didn't want to prompt him because that would lose the effect, and so the moment was lost.

What we did do that night was sit at the table and tell my wife one story after another about when we were growing up. We remembered and talked about people I hadn't thought about in years, and it seemed there were a million funny stories about each and every one of them. Talking and laughing brought back the some of the closeness I think we had lost sight of for a while.

That night in bed, before I went to sleep, I thought about how fleeting life is. My brother won't always be around. He has had prostate cancer and some other ailments, but he seems to be doing great. Still his health is more tenuous than it used to be. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow or anyone else's tomorrows.

The next morning when he left I hugged him good-bye and then told him I loved him. I had told him that many times before but this time it was more heartfelt. He told me he loved me to and then he was on his way.

Life goes on and with each day hopefully we learn some lessons we can use. With that visit I had an epiphany. I realized you should cherish your family and you should look past petty differences. And most of all you should let people you love know you love them.

 

 

 

 

 

©2005 Jackie K. Cooper

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