"Move Over, Sally"

Several years ago when Sally Field was awarded her second Oscar she gained Hollywood immortality by shrieking, "You like me! You really, really like me!" I always wondered what led to this meltdown and what could have caused the sweet and sane Sally Field to make such an idiot out of herself?

Fast forward to the present. I am currently a book and movie critic. I generally review three movies a week and at least one book. I write solid, honest opinions and give my views without restrictions. It's fun. 

For the past six years I have also been an author. I have written three books and the latest is titled HALFWAY HOME. My books have not been ones that book critics have raced to review. As a matter of fact the reviews have been few and for between. That is fine with me as I do not wish to be at the mercy of pithy comments and sarcastic utterances. Being a critic I know how easy it is to do that.

Also, I do not have much confidence in my book writing. With every book I have published I think it is a fluke and they will ask for the contract back before the book sees the light of day. My wife tries to build up my confidence but I just can't see me as the next great thing in literature.

Therefore I was fearing the worst when I learned "The Post and Courier" of Charleston, South Carolina was going to run a review of HALFWAY HOME. South Carolina is my home state and I hated to be subjected to ridicule in my own backyard.

When I got the review I put it aside for an hour or so before I had the courage to read it. When I did read it I was amazed. The reviewer said things like "sharp, easy-flowing writing" and "the magic of this gripping book." 

I was in shock, but when my mind started to come back to its senses the first thing I thought was, "They like me! They really, really like me!" I swear that is what raced through my mind. In an instant I had turned into Sally Field.

In the core of me I understood how she had felt holding her Oscar and knowing her peers had bestowed this honor upon her. She probably had had tons of self-doubt up to this point and thought the first Oscar win was just a fluke. But flukes two times - no way!

I will probably never be completely secure in my writing skills. No matter if I publish another twenty books, I'll still have doubts. But for a moment I lived in the glory that someone did like my writing and it was a stranger and not a family member or a close friend.

For that bright, shining moment I could shout, "Move over, Sally. They like me. They really, really like me."

 

 

 

 

 

©2005 Jackie K. Cooper

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