"Wimpy Parents"

Everywhere you look these days there are stories about how the younger generation is going to the dogs. Teen pregnancy is on the rise; teen crime is on the rise; teen drinking is on the rise; teen everything is on the rise. It's a calamity that doesn't seem to have an instant cure anywhere in sight.

Parents seem to be at their wits end. They don't know where to turn or what to do. And a whole cast of Oprahs and Dr. Phils don't seem to be helping. A lot of the problems parents are facing now are not ones that I faced.

For example a friend of mine in Atlanta has a sixteen-year-old son. He told me yesterday that he is afraid to let his son go to parties at his classmates' homes because he has heard that some parents are serving alcohol. They say that the kids are going to drink and they would rather have it done in the home than out where they can't be monitored. They don't let them drive when they drink so that makes everything okay.

My reaction was "Are these people crazy!" Number one giving alcohol to teens is against the law. I don't care how noble their intentions are. IT IS AGAINST THE LAW! And believe me if anyone had ever given my teenage sons alcohol I would have turned them in with a vengeance.

Secondly, the "they are going to drink anyway" argument is bull. How do they know who is going to drink and who is not? Do these people have some kind of crystal ball that shows the future? I don't think so. Some are going to drink some day and some are not. And when they do decide to drink or not to drink it should be when they are of legal age.

This whole "serving drinks" thing reeks to me of lazy parenting or parents as wimps. Like in a lot of areas, parents would rather give in to what they think their child wants rather than make the rules and set the standards. Being a parent means just that - being a parent. It doesn't mean being a friend or being a playmate or even being someone who provides the pleasure of life with no cost to the child.

It is not easy to set the rules. Believe me I know. There were times when we were raising our sons that it would have been much, much easier just to give in on something they really, really wanted to do. But is that being the best parent? 

If you are going to be a parent you shouldn't be a wimp. You should make the rules and make sure they are complied with in any situation. Kids need guidance. They need limitations. They need parents.

So don't be a wimpy parent. Don't take the easy way out. Be strong, be moral, be someone who tries to be fair but firm. It won't be an easy life but it will be the right one for your child.

And if you hear of someone serving alcohol to teens, turn them in to the police. 

 

 

 

 

 

©2005 Jackie K. Cooper

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