"The Blending of Roles"

Now that I am basically a stay at home writer the roles of responsibilities in my house have changed. My wife gets up and goes to work every day as a school principle while I spend my day at the computer writing articles, reviews, etc. I get up most mornings and kiss her good-bye but there are also days I kiss her from the bed.

During the day I make the bed, wash the dishes, sometimes vacuum, and sometimes go to the store to get items we need. My wife has been on a cooking kick lately and when she cooks I clean up. It works for us and that is what is important.

I was never one of those people who felt the man was king of the castle and the little wife was just there to serve him, though I have known people like that. I never felt I shouldn't take my turn with the dirty diapers, getting up with the kids, etc. It just seemed fair to me that if you were going to have kids you ought to invest something in their care.

Now don't let me lie to you. I did some things most men didn't, but I didn't do a lot. Most of my time was spent working outside the home and the majority of the home work fell on my wife. She stayed home after the kids were born and only went back to work outside the home after they were in school.

My sons are much more involved in the raising of their kids and the up keep of their homes. Sean, my youngest son, has two children and he has been much more of a hands on father than I ever was. He also takes more of an active role in keeping the house clean, washing clothes, etc. He does all the ironing in their house and he is very good at it.

JJ, my oldest, just got married this past summer but he has already plunged into the housework thing. He also is an ironer and does the vacuuming. His wife is the cook in the family but JJ does clean up after they have eaten. He and his wife don't have any kids but I know he will be a hands on Dad when they arrive.

Do they feel any less male because they help out in these ways? I don't think so. In today's world of two careers in most homes, there just isn't room for male chauvinism. Or at least there isn't room for the rampant male chauvinism that existed in my day and to a worse extent in my father's day.

Today marriage and parenting are more a partnership, an equal thing. That is so much better in the long run. No one feels oppressed all the time. There is a shared concern about money, planning for the future, raising good kids, and on and on. And when one spouse feels overcome by events the other spouse is there to help them out.

You can watch the reruns of those old TV shows where the husband sat in the easy chair while the wife vacuumed around him and wonder where those days went. The answer is "with the wind, buddy, with the wind." I don't think we will ever see them blow back into town again.

Today's marriage is a partnership of the best kind and keeps getting better. The secret is in the sharing, and that is honestly the way I think it should be. I am working on being better at it than I have been in the past.

 

 

 

 

 

©2006 Jackie K. Cooper

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