"The Critic As Actor"

For many years now I have been supplementing my income by reviewing movies, plays, TV shows, videos, concerts, etc. I have praised people for their skills and criticized them for their lack thereof. I haven't set myself up as an expert but rather just write my opinions as I see them. In this respect everyone is a critic, I just happen to get paid for my opinion.

It has never been in me to be an actor. Oh I did a play in high school my junior year, and then when I got to college I did a play my freshman year. I haven't done any acting since then and that was probably a wise move on my part. Knowing this, why have I now accepted the opportunity to be in a play at my church? My only response is insanity.

A few weeks ago I was approached by a very nice man in our church who said they were starting a drama ministry. He said his wife was directing a play and wanted me to be in it but was afraid to ask me. I should have gone with that and let her stay scared but for some unknown reason I said she should call me. She did - and asked me to be in a play.

I told her how busy I was, but she said they would work rehearsals around me. I told her I was starting a book tour, but she said they would work around my schedule. She persisted, I resisted, but finally I gave in and said yes. I honestly never intended to say yes, but somehow I did.

We had our first meeting a few days later and the scripts were handed out. I took one look and thought this thing is long. I was hoping for a fifteen-minute drama with maybe a cast of a thousand. This play runs for an hour and fifteen minutes and has a cast of six. And all of us have way too much dialogue.

Oh yes, that is the other thing I meant to say. I can't memorize. At one time I could - when I was twenty. I ain't twenty any more and my brain does not retain things like it used to do. I will never get all my lines learned. It did dawn on me that somewhere I read Marlon Brando had all his lines for "The Godfather" taped on the back of chairs, etc. During any scene that was being shot he just read them off the script. If it's good enough for Marlon it's good enough for me. I'll even send a Native American woman to pick up my award.

I do have a problem though that Marlon didn't. To my knowledge he never was a critic for any publication. I am sure he had his likes and dislikes but he never put them down in print. I have. So now you have the "critic" as "actor." I would love to have the chance to review Roger Ebert or Joel Siegel in a play, and I am sure there are some people around here that will love the chance to see Jackie Cooper as actor. It might get brutal.

Still since I am doing a church play, maybe God will protect me. I am counting on that. That and a bunch of lines stuck on the furniture on stage!

 

 

 

 

 

©2006 Jackie K. Cooper

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