"Expectation vs Anticipation"

Last week we had the kickoff for my latest book THE BOOKBINDER. A fairly large crowd attended and it was one of the outstanding days of my life. What made it extra special was the fact both my boys, their wives, and my grandchildren were there. My youngest son and his family only live a short distance from us (well if you consider eighty miles short) so I thought they would come for it. 

My older son and his wife live in Durham, North Carolina so I definitely didn't expect them to be there. My wife, however, had arranged for them to fly in as a surprise to me. Do I not have the best wife possible?

My birthday is also this week so as an added treat my wife had arranged for all of us to go downtown and eat at one of my favorite restaurants. I was all excited about dong that and was taken completely by surprise when we walked into the area where we were dining and was surprised by ten of our closest friends. It was the perfect way to celebrate my birthday.

You have to understand the psyche of Jackie Cooper to see why this was so perfect. First off I don't like holidays or special days of any kind and that includes birthdays. They depress me and I would just rather have a year full of ordinary days.

Secondly when I know an event such as a birthday party is coming up I begin to build expectations about it. I plan it all out in my mind, and when it does not reach those expectations I get mad, sad, depressed or all of those combined. I always do that. I build it up and expect it to happen - and as my good friend Susan Potts once told me, "Expectations will kill you!"

Now anticipation is a good thing. I anticipate things happening such as a radio show, a trip to Biloxi, or any event such as this. I relish the anticipation in the days leading up to the "thing" actually happening. That is a good thing. But if I ever tip over from anticipation into expectation, well that is a killer.

Most of my problems with expectation come in the form of what I expect from my friends. If I had known I was having a birthday party I would have wanted to know who was coming. Then if I found out someone had turned down an invitation for some reason I didn't consider to be valid, I would have been angry. Sorry, that is the way I am.

So for the birthday party to be a surprise was the perfect way to go. I didn't have time to ponder over it. As far as I know everybody who was invited, came. There were no excuses given and so I didn't have to judge the value of the friendships.

I think maybe I am getting a little better as I get older (that birthday was a big one!). I honestly try not to expect too much from people. Still every now and then I do get disappointed and I can feel the righteous indignation building. My blood begins to boil.

Then that voice goes off in my head that says, "Anticipate, Jackie anticipate. Don't expect! Never expect!"

 

 

 

 

 

©2006 Jackie K. Cooper

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