"You've Got To Have Sleep"

I don't know if it is my age, my life, my diet or what but lately I have had a horrible time falling to sleep. There is a vicious cycle when you don't sleep. Number one, it is all you think about. You wonder if this will be the night when you actually sleep all the way though and wake up refreshed. Then when it comes time to go to bed you panic. Am I going to sleep, or am I not going to sleep? And lately I don't.

My problem is I fight sleep. I actually get sleepy around eight o'clock at night. But who wants to go to bed at eight o'clock! Still I lull myself into thinking if I am sleepy at eight I will be plumb catatonic at eleven. It doesn't happen that way. Some time between eight and eleven a point is crossed and I become wide awake.

My wife tells me not to get up when I am not sleeping because as long as I am lying down I am resting. So I lay there and worry about everything that has gone on that day, and what will happen tomorrow, and what happened in the past year. I review it all and try to solve the problems in it all.

Usually I end up getting on the floor by our bed. I get a blanket and cover myself up and stick my head right in front of the electric fan that runs year round in our bedroom. Sometimes the sound of the fan and the rush of the wind lulls me to sleep, but not always. Still I am comfortable on the floor and I am not tossing around bothering my wife.

When I was a child I could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. I especially liked sleeping in the late afternoon. That was the best sleep ever. I enjoyed those kind of naps into my adulthood. Before I got married I would rush home from work, jump on the bed and sleep for a couple of hours. Then I woke up and I was ready for the night.

I have always been a night person. I like to work at night. I certainly write better at night. My thought processes seem to kick in during the evening hours. When I was in college and law school one of my favorite things was to have deep-rooted discussions late at night into the early morning. In college we didn't get going good on conversations until one or two AM.

It has been proven that in order to be healthy you have to have sleep. In the tragic case of actor Heath Ledger one of the first facts that surfaced was he had been having trouble sleeping. He was taking drugs to try to make him sleep. I don't want to go that route. I am still trying hot baths and natural remedies.

I have cut out caffeine at night, well most caffeine. I still drink diet cokes and I guess they have some caffeine in them. I also am trying to keep my mind on serene things before I go to bed. I read some in the current best seller I am reviewing and then let sleep come naturally to me. But it doesn't come! I may sleep for an hour or so and then I wake up. 

Maybe tonight will be the night. Maybe this time I will sleep for eight glorious hours. I hope so. I hope so. I hope so.
 

 

 

 

 

©2008 Jackie K. Cooper

Click above to find out more about Jackie's books!