"Where They Come Home To Roost"

Things seem to run in cycles. Just like the seasons, things change and then they become the same again. At least that is what life looks like to me from my vantage point. And one of the things I have viewed of late is that as in days of long ago when families lived close to each other, that time has come again.

I remember hearing my parents talk about how their grandparents lived either with the family or very close by. Friends of mine lived in homes where the grandparents were part of the family. But somehow that "closeness" didn't apply much to my generation.

When I left home, I left home. That doesn't mean I didn't go back to visit. I did. But I never, ever had a serious thought about going back to Clinton, South Carolina to live. Maybe if my mother had still been alive I would have considered it. But she wasn't and I didn't. And most of my friends didn't either.

For most of us it was a chance to escape, to grow into being our own persons. For too many years we had been so and so's boy, or for the women there was that control factor their mothers exercised. My female friends complained that their mothers wanted to tell them how to dress, how to wear their hair, and most of all how to act. It was stifling and so they fled.

When my wife and I were raising our boys we tried to not impose our way of life on them. We didn't always succeed at this but it was one of our goals. We encouraged them to pursue the careers that would make them happy; not the ones that would make us happy. We tried to encourage them to think for themselves and not parrot back to us our views on everything.

Most of our friends were in the same line of thinking. And because we were all away from family we influenced each other's children. We became family to each other. No grandparents lived in our homes, but our friends were frequent visitors.

Now our children are grown. Most have gone off to college and are now beginning to settle down with spouses and kids. And a lot of them are heading home. Much to our amazement they don't want to be far away. They don't feel the need to escape. They want to be close by.

One of my friends has a daughter who got married and moved to Ohio. She and her husband have two children and hope to have a third. Hubby has a good job in the sales division of a big corporation. He has a good salary and more importantly good insurance. But last week they announced they are coming home. They want their kids to be close to their grandparents, and they want that warm circle of friends that our hometown offers.

One of the reasons kids want to come to live near their parents is economics. Have you checked to see how much a babysitter cost these days! Somebody told me that in a big city it is between ten and fifteen dollars an hour. While if you live near your parents, it is free. That alone is worth consideration of a move back to the town where you grew up.

So dust off that welcome mat, folks. Your little pigeons have spread their wings and flown away - for a while. But now they are coming home to roost. You can look at it as a compliment or an inconvenience. I prefer the compliment.

 

 

 

 

 

©2004 Jackie K. Cooper

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