"A Weighty Matter"

When I met and married my wife I was thin. I don't mean gaunt, but certainly more on the thin than heavy side. And that is the way I had always been. I just couldn't keep weight on me, and never really thought or worried about it. Oh but that was then, and this is now.

Now I am heavy, or chunky, or fat. Whatever you want to call it, I am it. All that weight that never came my way in my younger years has found out where I live and headed there. The funny thing is, it doesn't bother me. But it does bother my wife.

Now it doesn't concern her because of the way I look. I am sure she would love me if I were ten times my weight now. Love is blind and all that good stuff. Her concern is for my health, and whether being overweight is going to cut short my time on earth.

With these concerns in mind she has become an almost vegetarian. She still eats chicken and turkey but no red meat. That means those wonderful days of yore when she cooked roasts and steaks are no more. Now it is chicken and turkey and that is it. 

This change in eating habits did not occur until after our boys left for college. They did not get to enjoy the thrill of eating "turkey dogs," or have ground turkey make up the sauce for spaghetti. They are still out there eating real hamburgers and steaks and roast beef, while I just long for the good old days.

A few weeks ago my wife sent me to the grocery store to pick up a loaf of bread. Sounds simple! Think again. This had to be stone ground, sugar free, whole wheat bread. Plus she needed some 1% milk, and some diet cokes. You see a pattern here?

Most of the time I just go along and get along. The problem is I haven't lost any weight. I am still right where I was before I kissed real food good-bye. But maybe I am healthier. Who knows!

The other night we went to my granddaughter's graduation from four-year-old kindergarten. They had a nice little program and Genna, my granddaughter, was the cutest one there. After the program was completed they had a reception with some treats.

One of the treats was quarter cut bologna sandwiches. I mean honest to God bologna on white bread with pure mayonnaise. I casually picked one up and ate it. It was delicious. It melted in my mouth. I casually swooped up two more. They were just as good as the first one. My taste buds were doing the macarena in my mouth and shouting ole!

When my wife came up I was eyeing the entire plate. She shot me a look that said don't even think about it. When she turned to speak to someone I grabbed two more and left the area. I finished these two off before I got to our car.

Who would have thought bologna sandwiches could be that good. I sure didn't remember them being a treat like this. But they were pure joy to the palate, and I will have their memory for years to come.

Weight is an American obsession. I am truly going to try to lose a few pounds in the future. But when I get to Heaven I am going to ask St Peter for a few bologna sandwiches as a welcoming present. Cause that's what they were. They were heavenly.

 

 

 

 

 

©2004 Jackie K. Cooper

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