"Think of the Children"

Many years ago I was living in California and had the occasion to interview an up and coming young actress. She was from the South so we had that mutual bond. In the course of the interview she talked about the man she was living with. He was also an actor. For some reason she took upon herself to tell me she didn't plan to get married until she had children. So be it. Live and let live I say.

A week or so later she called to tell me she was pregnant. She was totally excited and wanted that fact included in the interview. I asked if that changed her plans about marriage. She replied she wasn't going to rush into anything and she and her boyfriend could always get married at some later date if they so decided.

A year or so later after I had moved back to Georgia I read the "boyfriend" had been killed in a car accident. He and the actress had never married, and now that option had ended.

As you might have guessed I am pro-marriage. I think people should fall in love, get married, and then have children. But that's just my opinion. I have friends who have lived together in unwedded bliss and I don't condemn them. I would prefer they be married but that is their business. Where I do draw the line is when folks have children outside of marriage.

Consenting adults can decide what moral rules they wish to live by. But babies don't have a choice when they are born to unwed parents. When I have said to unwed parents that their children could suffer from the choices they made, I am told society has changed and no longer is being born outside marriage a bad mark against anyone. I agree that it shouldn't beheld against the children but to some extent they still are marked.

I read a story in the paper the other day about a political candidate. One of the lines describing the man stated his parents had never married. In the South that could cost him votes. Is it his fault? Of course not. His parents decided not to wed, but now many years later it is being used against him.

I have never known a parent who didn't want the best for his/her child. They want the best schools, the best jobs, the best environment - and the list goes on. One of the best gifts a parent can give a child is a hassle free environment in which to grow. Pity the child who has to start school with his/her classmates and/or teachers whispering about his/her "birth."

Today's unwed parents should also consider the fact the country is tending to be more and more conservative. And it might become even more so as time goes by. What kind of impediment would the fact of non-wed parents be in a more conservative society! The answer is that we don't know. So why risk our children's future. 

Children are the truly innocent people of the world. Let's do everything to give them the best start in life possible. And in my opinion that should include married parents.

 

 

 

 

 

©2004 Jackie K. Cooper

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