"Home To Tara"

When I was twelve years old my mother was diagnosed with cancer. One of the glands on her neck had become swollen. They did a biopsy and it came back negative. Then later after she continued to have some trouble they did a second biopsy and it came back positive. At this point in time she started X-ray treatments.

I don't know whether it was just in front of me or if it was a constant thing, but she kept her spirits high and her outlook positive. She did this even when the treatments sapped her strength and ruined her appetite. She was cheerful and had her eye on the future.

Sometime during her treatment she decided she wanted a parakeet. Why she wanted one I do not know. She had never mentioned wanting a bird before, but she wanted one and she got one. It was a little blue feathered parakeet that she named Tara. People would ask where she got that name and she would reply, "From GONE WITH THE WIND. Remember how Scarlett always said she had to get home to Tara."

So Tara became part of our family, and I have to say the little bird was smart. Within a few weeks she became able to say "Tara loves Gena (which was my mother's name)" and "Tara is a pretty bird." There were other phrases but those two were the main ones. The bird would say them over and over and over; and my mother would laugh and applaud each time she said them. 

Tara would also get up on my mother's finger and peck at her lips, which my mother swore were Tara's way of giving kisses. If ever there was a "bluebird of happiness" Tara fit that bill.

My mother was so caught up in the bird that she kept her outside the cage most of the time. Tara flew around the room and only went into the cage to eat. We had to be very careful to open and close the door to my mother's bedroom very quickly so the bird could not get into other parts of the house. Or worse yet, out the door.

My mother's health did not seem to be getting better but her hopes still ran high. She talked about my brother's upcoming graduation from high school. She talked to both of us about going to college. She spoke of one day having grandchildren. There was always a tomorrow.

One day while I was at school a group of ladies came to the house unexpectedly. The woman who worked for us let them in and they headed back to my mother's bedroom. Tara was out and flying around and when they opened the door they didn't close it quickly and she headed for the living room. One of the women had left something in the car and had gone back to get it. As she came into the house Tara flew out the door.

I came home and found my mother completely disconsolate. No one had been able to find Tara. She was gone. We had people call and say they thought they had seen the bird but none of these leads ever panned out. Tara was never seen again.

The loss of Tara seemed to break my mother's sprit. She told me once that she didn't understand why God wouldn't let her keep a little bird. She was devastated by the loss, and her life spark wasn't as vibrant as it had been.

In just a few months she was gone. And those months were horrendous. But when she died I knew she was for the best. The minister told me she had gone to a better place. "She's just gone home," he told me. As he spoke those words it flashed into my mind that she had gone home to Tara.

 

 

 

 

 

©2004 Jackie K. Cooper

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