"Compulsion"

A few weeks ago I went to Fairhope, Alabama for a book signing. I spent the night before the signing in a hotel but after the signing I decided I would just drive home to Georgia. It was only nine o'clock at night and I knew I could make it home in five hours or so. My wife didn't want me to do it. She thought I should get a motel room, but I insisted I was fine.

I was fine. I drive better at night than in the early morning so I had no problem staying awake. I did a lot of heavy thinking as I drove and found myself at home by 2AM. I made the drive just fine - but I have been worn out every since I got back. Now I know I am not as young as I used to be but why can't I catch up on feeling rested?

I thought when I retired from my full time job that I would only do those things I wanted to do and I would have much more leisure time. Some people told me they were busier than ever in retirement but I thought they were just poor planners. I knew I would have all the leisure time I wanted, and then some.

It hasn't happened. I am busier than ever. But it is because I have a compulsion to be doing something. As soon as I retired I started writing my third book, HALFWAY HOME, which is now in bookstores. The writing was not the hard part; the marketing of the book is. I feel compelled to go to every bookstore, school, social club, etc that I can. I want to get the word of the book before the public so that they can have a choice to buy it.

Between now and Christmas every weekend has some "event" penciled in where I will be talking/signing/selling my book. Of course I am still doing my "Entertainment Reports" on television each week. This requires me to see at least one new movie every week to review. Then I add two more each week so I can post them on my website www.jackiekcooper.com; plus I write this column and review TV shows, books and videos. Am I crazy or what!

Beside my bed I have a large stack of books that are begging me to read them - and I want to. These are not necessarily books for me to review. They are books I just plain want to read. And there are old movies I want to watch again. The problem is no time.

My wife and sons gave me a TIVO for my last birthday. This allows me to record any program I want. You can even schedule TIVO to record them every week ad infinitum and you never have to reschedule it. I now have a collection of new TV shows on TIVO that I don't have time to watch.

Plus I still want to have quality time with my family, and I want to be involved with my church. It used to seem like twenty-four hours allowed you to do those kinds of things. Not any more. Those sands in the hourglass run through at breakneck speed.

Inside my head I am driven. Compelled to pack as much activity into one day as I can. And for what? Money, celebrity, enjoyment. All of those, but mostly just for satisfaction. I like being productive and useful and accomplished, and I will be compelled to strive to be even more so until the day I die. It's the American way.

 

 

 

 

 

©2004 Jackie K. Cooper

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