"Living Too Long"

Science is doing a remarkable job of extending our lives. When I was a child it seemed most people died in their seventies, and a lot died a lot younger than that. Back then people looked old when they were in their seventies, not at all like they do today. Now we get people in their seventies, eighties and nineties who appear to be in prime health and good spirits.

Most people aspire to live just as long as they can. I know I do. And I want to keep my mind alert and my body functioning. Modern technology is allowing us to do that very thing. If the urban legend is true, maybe when Walt Disney has himself thawed out he will be able to live another few decades.

But then there is the possible down side of living too long. If you health is bad and you are barely hanging on you might wish that it would all be over. Or even if you are in fairly good health you might feel that way. A case in point is my stepmother Florence.

Florence has always been a rock in our family. She and my father didn't marry until she was forty and up until that time she had taken care of herself just fine, thank you very much. She was a whiz at finances and helped my father get over his financial troubles caused by my mother's prolonged illness.

She and my father were married for over forty years, and it was a good marriage. He was good to her and she took care of him. Since they never had children he was her family pure and simple. In the last few years before he died she did everything for him but breathe and she would have done that if she could have.

Since his death five years ago she has grieved silently and at most times alone. Occasionally she and I have grieved together, but with me in Perry, Georgia and her in Clinton, South Carolina she has mostly borne her grief in solitude.

Florence is eighty-eight now. She still lives alone in the home she and my father shared but it is getting to be too much for her, and I worry for her safety. She is thinking about moving into an assisted living place but that will mean leaving the place where all her memories of my father are. She is putting off the decision as long as she can.

We talked on the phone the other day and I told her I would support whatever decision she made. She told me it was a hard decision to make. Then she added, "I guess I have just lived too long."

My first instinct was to tell her not to say that, but somehow I just kept quiet. Later after we had ended the conversation I thought about what she had said. I also thought about how most of her friends were gone and a lot of her family. That would be depressing. Plus being a Christian she plans on seeing my father again and I know that is comforting to her.

A long life is considered to be something we all want. But in some instances it can also be a burden. In some instances we might find ourselves thinking maybe we just lived too long.

 

 

 

 

 

©2004 Jackie K. Cooper

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