"If It Never Gets Any Better Than This"

We all are united in the pursuit of happiness. It is what we strive for all our lives and what we try to provide for those we love. Some of us achieve it and some of us don't. Some of us spend our lives searching for it and it escapes us at every turn. But for some lucky ones happiness arrives and it is welcomed with open arms.

When I was fourteen my mother died. That event knocked the props out from under me. I was adrift, unsure of what life had to offer me. If someone I loved so much could be taken from me what other horrible things could happen. And if happiness were that elusive would I ever be able to find it again?

Shortly after my mother's death I began to have a recurring dream. I would be on a road and there would be a light in the distance. I kept trying to move towards that light but the closer I got the more it began to fade. I knew in this dream if I could just catch that fading light I would be happy. It seemed that all the warmth and love I needed was tied up in that light.

Although I had the dream, or a variation of it, many times I never caught the fading light. But in my awakened life I finally did find happiness. I found it with my wife and eventually with my children. Still the scars of my mother's death continued to pain me. I was so afraid that my wife or I would get sick and put my sons through the pain I felt when my parent died. I became almost paranoid whenever there was an illness, which luckily there were very few of in our lives.

It was only after my children were grown that I began to relax. But I am afraid I infected my boys with this apprehensive state for they worry about the health of those that they love. 

One day last week I was thinking about that old dream I used to have, and I wondered why I never was able to catch that fading light. Those thoughts led me to evaluate the state of my life today and I came to this conclusion. If my life never, ever became any better than it is right now at this very moment that is fine with me. If it never gets any better than this then I am still a happy man.

Not many people can say that about their lives. Most of us are always pursuing that distant dream or distant light, but not me. I know how good I have it. If I can hold on to just what I have today I will stay content.

A few weeks ago I gave a talk to a group of people. Afterwards a man who had been in the audience came up to me and said God had laid it on his heart to tell me I was going to be blessed. My response was I was already blessed and any other blessings would just be icing on the cake. And I truly feel that way.

Here's hoping you are at the same place in your life as I am. I hope that you can say that if it never gets any better than this you are still a happy person. This right now is enough!

 

 

 

 

 

©2004 Jackie K. Cooper

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