“G. I. Joe: Rise of Cobra” (Paramount Pictures)
The Best Bad Movie Around
“G. I. Joe: Rise of Cobra” has all the requisite action for a summer thriller. It blows up lots of things, has lots of fights, and there are chases galore. Nothing wrong with any of this. What slows the movie down is the acting, not the action. Honestly could there be a clunkier hero than the one played by Channing Tatum?
In the film Tatum plays Duke, He and his buddy Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) get caught up in an event wherein a secret cache of weapons is stolen. They are taken by a group seemingly headed up by Anna (Sienna Miller), Duke’s old girlfriend. It seems that Duke and Anna were engaged to be married when Duke accidentally let her brother Rex (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) get killed. Things were never the same between them.
One of the main outcomes of this split is that Anna went from blonde to brunette. It seemed to suit her new personality better. She is one cool character and is in cahoots with people who want to take over the world. To stop her, Duke and Ripcord join the “G I Joe” organization which is headed up by General Hawk (Dennis Quaid).
Aside from the action that holds your attention there are the little surprises that seep into your mind. Eventually you decide Quaid is doing his best John Wayne imitation. You know like the Wayne of ‘The Green Berets.” And wait, isn’t that Brendan Fraser stopping by a training session just to say “hi”?
Plus is Gordon-Levitt so hard up for work that he has taken a role where he only has one scene? Haven’t these people seen “500 Days of Summer”? Oh and isn’t that Arnold Vosloo from “The Mummy” hanging out on the edges of some scenes?
And who is the mystery man in the black suit who never talks? It took me forever to determine this was Ray Park, the man behind some of the coolest villains in movie history. He played Darth Maul in “Star Wars.” He was also in “Mortal Kombat Annihilation” and played “Toad” in “X-Men.” Another great role was when he played the headless horseman in “Sleepy Hollow.”
Still for some reason these characters made the movie cheesily good. You could just relax and enjoy everything about it and know that it wasn’t going to be great but it wasn’t going to be too bad either. Except for Tatum, and he is really bad in the role of action hero.
The movie is rated PG-13 for violence and profanity.
If you go to the movie just looking for fun and adventure with no great plot to worry you, then this is a movie you are going to enjoy. It isn’t awful; in fact it is probably the best bad movie you have seen all summer
I scored “G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra” a military 6 out of 10.