Gina Carano in "Haywire"; photo courtesy of Relativity Media

“Haywire” (Relativity Media) 

The story goes that director Steven Soderbergh saw Gina Carano at a mixed martial arts exhibition and decided she could carry a movie as an action star. The result is “Haywire” and Soderbergh must have been haywire to think this would work. It doesn’t. Ms Carano does not have the beauty, talent or martial arts expertise to be good in any element of the film.

“Haywire” is the story of a woman named Mallory (Carano). She works for a group that does special jobs for the government. Her boss is a man named Kenneth (Ewan McGregor). He picks the jobs and gives her an assignment. The crucial job in the movie is one that takes place in Barcelona.

The rest of the movie is more muddled plot and a few action sequences. There is no coherency to the movie and it fails miserably. Soderbergh has made some good films in the past – “Traffic,” “Ocean's Eleven” and “Sex, Lies and Videotape.” None of the talent on display there shows through in this movie.

Watching Carano try to act is just painful. She is not natural at it at all. The fight scenes, in which she should excel, seem programmed to the nth degree. It is almost as if someone is counting and she moves in time with each count. Plus there is very little background music in these scenes and fight scenes need some action music to enhance them. There is music in this movie but not in those particular scenes.

You have to give Soderbergh an “A” for effort. He assembled a supporting cast that reads like a list of Hollywood’s top male stars. There is McGregor, Michael Douglas, Antonio Banderas, Michael Fassbender, Bill Paxton, Channing Tatum and Michael Angarano. Each one of these men has a few scenes and then fades away. Nobody makes an impression. They must have owed Soderbergh favors big time.

The film is rated R for violence and profanity.

Carano better return to her day job. Soderbergh might really want to consider that retirement he has been talking about to the press. And all of the supporting cast better hope their next movies are better than this one. You would not want to base your career on this loser.

There is nothing like a good action movie. Many can overcome bad acting, bad photography and a host of other sins. But none can overcome a lackluster action star and that is what “Haywire” has.

I scored “Haywire” an unhinged 3 out of 10.